We all face death in one form or another many times throughout our life. I happen to be facing a death of a love relationship right now...
It has been a week and I have been grieving. I consciously chose to go through this process because I initiated the breakup. It doesn't make it easier or less painful to let go of someone you love. I was hoping for a little breathing room before answering questions from friends and family but thanks to the recent addition to modern life...social networking, I had a message at 7:00am from my mother the day after it happened.
"Ken just changed his facebook status to single, was does that mean?"
It is bad enough that your mother now can follow every move you make on Facebook. But now all of my friends and family could see this bold statement posted on their Home page without the context from me. It would only be a matter of time before the messages and calls started coming in seeking answers. So much for some breathing room...
I took a deep breath, logged in and went to see his profile. Sure enough there it was..."Single" and Facebook is so cute it even adds a little heart after it. He had also changed his "Interested In" and "Looking For" to Women, Dating and a Relationship. Wow that was fast!
The cards had been dealt, I made the next move. I changed my status from "In a relationship" to "Single" and then I unfriended him.
Now I just had to sit back and deal with the responses. On one hand having your life so public and transparent to your friends and family with social networking sites can be a challenge. On the other, despite needing some time to process and grieve my new reality on my own, there was something quite magical and empowering that happened. Friends took time out of their busy day to write me loving notes of support, some even linked to songs that were just perfect, several called me to say I did the right thing and that they were there, my sister came over during her lunch hour and all and all I did not feel as vulnerable as I thought I would.
I felt loved and a strange, alert energy pulsing deep within me...
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